The Year of Big Questions

"Don’t eat meat. Be as passionate as you can all the time. Work for social justice. Cuddle your beloved more than seems reasonable. Write. Give money to charity as often as you can, and give a little more than you’re comfortable giving. Remember the homeless always and everywhere. Thank whatever God you worship for your inestimable good luck in being loved, and if you are not loved, love someone as best you can.”

144,284 notes


okay so if harry potter was born in 1980, and went to hogwarts in like 91, that means he was in his sixth year in 1996
do you think he knew about the spice girls? i mean.. i know he had shit going on with horcruxes that year but wannabe isn’t something that happens without you taking note of it

(via thehpalliance)

Filed under harry potter oh my god I love the harry potter fandom so hard and I'm so glad it's still around and thinking up things like this harry I'm coming home

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On Aniversaries

Yesterday was the Anniversary and for the first time, it wasn’t the consuming anxiety of my day.  I thought about it a lot, but it didn’t own me.  I did not cry.  I did not need to cry.

I have done a lot of thinking this year about what was helpful before and after September 18, 2010 and have a new sense of gratitude about everything as a result.

First, I am thankful to the people who loved me out of my internalized misogyny, especially in the Spring on 2010, but even before.  Jake Thompson, in high school, got me to start thinking about oppression.   Vik Gumbhir made  me start writing gender neutral, even about the president.  Jane Rinehart put up with my obnoxious comments and attitude about how sexism affected other women, but not me.  Libby and Maura organized Vagina Monologues, let a man who did much less work take the credit, and created many of us’s first connection with a Feminist Movement.  

These folks taught got me to really think about patriarchy, violence, and rape culture, and I had a really strong set of tools to think about what happened because of it.  I was a mess after everything went down, and I had no power to fix the situation, but I also knew that what people had done and were doing to me was wrong, and that turned out to be quite a sustaining force.

I am also grateful to the people who came around after, both immediately and that spring.  From hour one, Bram was There For It.  He took me in his arms and told me it wasn’t my fault.  He woke his parents up to get advice on how to help me and then he followed it.  Bram’s advice was not always good, but his presence was.  I needed it and I will remember it for a very long time.

Nikki and Jonathan and Skye and Kevin and Claire and Megan and The Hero Folks and Porch People and Joe (as best he could) were also there when I got back.  I was a disaster and was acting that out in a bunch of super douchey ways, and these people befriended me in my mess and sad poetry and drunk dialing and never sleeping and sobbing whilst puking into my grey water recycling bucket on my 20th birthday.  I was not fun and ya’ll did not already love me, but you were there for the mess.  When my old friends couldn’t, hang in, you could and I am so grateful for it.

Finally, and as always, I think about Vik and all his help and love and support.  The man has always been a proud fucking mom, I could always trust him, and he was always willing to use his considerable political power in that mess of a place on me.  Getting Vik into my life was one of the smartest things I ever did and I don’t know what would have happened without him.

As for all the motherfuckers, the Original and everyone else who was mostly just concerned about covering their asses than taking care of me.  I will paraphrase David Foster Wallace and say you would do well to think of me as a spider with a phenomenal emotional memory.

Filed under four years rape sexual assault the endless string of summer storms that led me to today began one afternoon with you long ago and far away chile dies y ocho Gonzaga

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ciaoveneca asked: I am V. disappointed in the casting choices of Margo Roth Spiegelman. V. Disappointed. Thank you for the insightful post.

Awe, thanks! It reminds me in some ways of our talk about Rebel Wilson.  We don’t even trust people to like a fat love interest and so one is never shown and so people have never heard of fat actresses except by their outlandish character names, because that’s the only role fat women can fill.  Ugh.

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Camera randomly started working just long enough for me to document 2nd barbecue joint in a week (but only 2nd in St. Louis too!) #thisiswhyyourefat  (at Pappy’s Smokehouse)

Camera randomly started working just long enough for me to document 2nd barbecue joint in a week (but only 2nd in St. Louis too!) #thisiswhyyourefat (at Pappy’s Smokehouse)

Filed under thisiswhyyourefat