Talk shows, in keeping with their usual superficiality and oversimplification of reality, perpetuate this stereotype. Many shows invite as panelists only bisexuals who have more than one partner, as if the absence of multiple partners invalidates or at least confounds bisexual identity. It is usually the preference of producers that the bisexual individual’s primary relationship be a heterosexual marriage, with same sex lovers "on the side".
In dealing with producers of these types of shows, I have been told that monogamous or celibate bisexuals are not interesting or controversial enough, and besides, the viewers wouldn’t be able to understand monogamous or celibate bisexuality.
As a result, viewers are presented with images that reinforce the illusion that all bisexual people have both male and female lovers, when in fact only a minority of bisexuals actually maintain this lifestyle. Robyn Ochs “Biphobia: It Goes More Than Two Ways” originally published in “Bisexuality: The Psychology and Politics of an Invisible Minority”, Beth A. Firestein, Editor published by Sage 1996
For fat women, being stylish isn’t a luxury. It’s often a necessity to get hired, to get access to healthcare, to get treated like a human being.
Fat women have all kinds of narratives about sloppiness, laziness, dirtiness to overcome. Sometimes heels are a crucial part of looking “put together” in a way that sufficiently convinces people that we care about ourselves, that manages to counteract pervasive cultural narratives that fat people don’t care about ourselves. That we have “let ourselves go.”
Being “put together” is part of the way many of us convey to a judgmental world that we are worth caring about.
I get treated completely differently at a $20 hair salon if I’m dressed up or dressed down. Two totally different experiences. I get treated differently at the doctor’s office, and at the emergency room. I can’t go to the ER in sweatpants, because I’ll get shittier treatment. In an emergency, I have to worry if I am dressed up enough to prove that I deserve respect and care.
This resonates so much with me. I get treated completely differently when I have my makeup on and am wearing nice clothes, versus when I’m causal and no makeup. And no, this isn’t the same thing for thin people, because for the few years I was average sized (60 lbs less than now) I could get away with looking casual or wearing sweatpants and still be treated normally. Fat women have to put in SO much extra effort to just be on the same playing field in society. And that is wrong.
I am still having problems
developing comfort in my new skin
raw with recovery and pumping blood
everything moves too fast
everything moves too much
it is not the dead cave I am used to.
Michelle K., I Am Disappointed. (via michellekpoems)
I frequently have neck pains
from looking back so often
tasting death on parched tongue
it is something I should not miss
but I am brutalized in a culture
where dying girls are the most beautiful.
I love my friends and the humans who have kept me so busy this week AND i’m grateful to be all by myself now